Daddy-O putting together a 9-team parlay
Today’s picture is Mr. O.’s dad wearing his SOB T-shirt into a sports book in Las Vegas. Sweet.
I haven’t made a post this week because I’ve been in jury duty. I was supposed to appear last January, but had a prior commitment. And by commitment, I mean I don’t like cold weather. The instructions on the summons stated that I was allowed one postponement, and had to choose another week within six months to be available. I thought by choosing a holiday week, my chances of being selected would be reduced.
Wrong.
My name was called along with 35 others, and we were led into a courtroom. The judge introduced the defendant who was accused of robbery, armed criminal action, rape and sodomy - six counts in all.
Both attorneys asked a number of questions to the prospective jurors. Some of these people were obviously too stupid to serve on a jury. If I was one of the attorneys, and heard some of the answers given, I would have shown them the door.
When we broke for lunch, the judge instructed us to be back in the courtroom by 1:30, and the jury panel would be selected. They called 12 names, and mine wasn’t one of them. Now, I’ll admit that I’m not a law scholar, but I’ve seen 12 Angry Men, so IÂ thought I was safe.
Wrong.
The bailiff called my name as the alternate – unlucky no. 13.
The people not chosen were told their services were no longer needed for the week, and they were free to leave. As I watched their smiling asses walk out of the courtroom, I shot a glance at a couple of the dumber ones.
I saw and heard things during the trial that were unbelievable. The alleged victim and defendant both took the stand. And I was thinking to myself – neither one of these people needs to be walking the streets.
During the defendant’s testimony, his attorney had to interrupt and ask him explain to the jury what “snappin’ on” means. Apparently, it means the same things as nagging. Who knew?
One of the defendant’s buddies shot me a Shug Knight look during the trial. So, I shot a look back thinking, “I’m the alternate, douche bag.”
After hearing closing arguments, the judge instructed the jury to elect a foreperson and begin deliberations. He told me that my services were no longer needed, and I could go.
I read today that the defendant was found guilty on 2 of the six charges. The jury must have reached their decision while I was sipping on a cold one at the pool.
The lawyers clean up all details, since daddy had to lie.