Let’s Get It Started
 The first sign you’re gay My grandma always tells me to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day because it’s supposed to bring good luck. I think I’m going to take her advice this year. In the past month, my digital camera, television and ankle have all broken. Someone hand me some hot sauce and a fork. Stupidity Tax […]
These Apples
I wanted to make a new post this morning for a couple of reasons. First, it’s Sheila E.’s birthday. Second, I had to get rid of that disgusting ass picture from the first thing people see on the SOB. Some interesting things you may not know about Sheila E. - Lived in Minnesota for a year and […]
Accidentally In Love
WTF? Update: That is not my ass. Well, well, well… it’s the day after Christmas and I’m drinking at the satellite office. Shocker. Please give a warm SOB welcome to the newest cast members - Doug Wetback and Tom B. Thanks to everyone that has donated money to my pee and cum pill fund. And by everyone, […]
Baby, Please Come Home
I’ve never noticed how many non-handicapped people park in spots reserved for those who really need them – until I was one of those that really needed them. Let me take you back to Monday night. I noticed all of the handicapped spots in a parking lot were taken, so I was forced to park a couple of […]
Two Tickets To Paradise
 ‘Tis the season for giving… At least it must be, because I keep seeing those panhandlers outside my local grocery store ringing bells and begging me to drop money into their red buckets. I mean, these guys are yelling, “Merry Christmas” to me as soon as I get out of the Saab. So, in the […]
One Headlight
 Never ignore your doctor’s order to go to the hospital for an X-Ray – Because you’ll end up walking around on a broken ankle for a week. Here’s a little message to everyone that called me a pussy during the week I hobbled around in pain – “Suck it.” You now realize that I have the […]
So. Central Rain
I’m sorry it’s been a while since the last post. My cankle ended up being broken and I haven’t felt like hopping over to the computer. That’ll happen when you spend most of the day hopped up on Darvocet. The young female pharmacist warned me not to drink alcohol with the prescription pain medication. They’re so cute at […]