SOB Tip of the Day – If the cardboard from your empty 30-pack won’t ignite a fire, use OFF! bug spray. Everyone will be huddled around a warm campfire in minutes. And there won’t be a mosquito in sight.
Disclaimer – The person in this picture is a professional drunk. Don’t try this at home.
Last year, Crowe Dog came up with a catch phrase that he thought would take the country by storm – Put some cheese on the hamburger!
Whenever we went out, he made sure we used it at least once during the evening.
Let’s bring it back, man. Whenever something good happens in your life, shout it out – Yeah, put some cheese on the hamburger!
I can picture it now – Stewart Scott doing highlights of an Albert Pujols home run on SportsCenter – “Yeah Big Albert, put some cheese on that hamburger!”
Hundreds of years from now, when someone is researching the origin of sayings like “Mind your Ps and Qs“, they’ll learn this one started right here – and has absolutely no meaning behind it.
That gives me an idea. I love using clichés, but sayings like “Does a bear shit in the woods?” get old after a while. So I’m going to start using my friends as clichés.
For example – let’s say I’m at a party with a bunch of people I don’t know. Some numb nut asks me a question that obviously has a “Yes” answer. I’ll reply with something like:
Does King lose his cell phone when he drinks?
Did Gina Party start smoking in the 7th grade?
Does Tom d G lift weights?
Does Abby know her 80’s music?
Does Maribeth drink shots?
Does Dani-girl want to be a trophy wife?
Does Lil’ Bro hate urinals?
Is my “ex”-girlfriend an obsessive-compulsive neat freak – and even though we have our differences, don’t we have so much more in common – and isn’t she the reason I wipe off my sink every morning?
WTF did you just say?
In the sweet old country where I come from. Nobody ever works. Nothing ever gets done.