Break On Through
I made only one real New Year’s Resolution in 2009 – not to buy any toilet paper during the year. You see, last New Year’s Eve, I ran into my neighbors before they moved to Washington, D.C. “You guys getting on the road?” I asked. “Yeah, and we left a little present in front of […]
Finest Worksong
Here’s an idea to prevent potential terrorists from boarding planes – have two separate security lines at airports: Security Line #1: Young Muslim men Security Line #2: Everyone else Oh, and put Cheney and Rumsfeld in charge of security. Now let’s get to work on creating more jobs. Actually, I think there are plenty of […]
Love Stinks
Lil’ Bro lights a candle after I used the bathroom My trip home for Christmas was a quick in-and-out. Just like prom night. I went to Walmart on Christmas Eve with Lil’ Bro and the kids. I still needed to get a present for my 4-year old niece, so I ventured off by myself. I […]
A Sort Of Homecoming
I’m flying out of St. Louis on Wednesday, and there’s a 100% chance of rain. If you’ve never flown in or out of Lambert Field when there’s precipitation – that means my flight will be delayed. But I’m pretty sure that’s why they put bars in airports. I haven’t told many people this, but I’ve […]
I Wouldn’t Want To Be Like You
Straight Outta Bridgeton Since I didn’t have a chance to give my Christmas present to the woman I was dating, I’ll share it with you. To say she is directionally challenged would be an understatement. Actually, I found the quality to be endearing, especially since she laughed at herself. I thought a GPS would be […]
Brown Eyed Girl
I ate lunch at El Maguey on Friday, and sat next to a table of U.S. Border Agents. I’ve never seen so many nervous employees. I figured the agents would enjoy their lunch, and then perform a raid. But they left right after I did. Now, let me recap my Saturday night. I went to […]
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Looks like we’ve got a short one tonight. That’s what she said. I’m heading out to meet my college buddy, Wile E. Before I leave, I wanted to share a story from my friend Jane, who lives in NYC. She was at home getting ready for a first date last Saturday. He called before he […]