Right Here, Right Now
Terrible Marketing Let me recap a shitty day. – Cell phone went dead because I brought the wrong cord – Started to leave work at 6:00, and found out I was scheduled to stay until 7:30. – 7:35: Discovered car battery was dead – 7:36: Discovered cable to open hood was broken – 7:37: Realized […]
The Movie
Why is America so fat? I used my cell phone to record and upload my first video on YouTube. I call it The Summer of Benny – Cribs. It’s my birthday, so I’m getting drunk tonight. Here’s how I spent some previous ones. This Day in Benny History 1996: Flew to Honolulu with “Doggie-Style” 1997: […]
We Are The Champions
Hello, Saints Fan! For the next week and a half we’re going to be subjected to experts handicapping the Super Bowl. “For the Saints to win, they’re going to have to get to Peyton Manning.” Really? “For the Colts to win, they’re going to have to have to control the line of scrimmage.” Wow, that’s […]
Heavy Things
That’s the last time I fall asleep with the oven on The one-year roommate experiment has ended, and I’m moving back to my own place at the end of the month. There are several empty boxes in my living room, and a lot of shit around them. It just seems like a lot of work […]
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
True Friendship There’s a certain “guy code” that says you don’t fool around with a buddy’s girlfriend or wife. And it doesn’t matter if they’re still together, or not. It’s just a common courtesy we extend to each other. Note: This rule does not apply if your buddy says, “I don’t care what you do […]
Born On The Bayou
I heard comedian Henry Phillips on The Bob & Tom Show a few weeks back. He created his own sex act by using his hometown followed by his favorite candy. Mine is the St. Louis Payday. I’ve been trying to come up with the actual move itself. I think it’s going to involve doggie-style, the […]
Change
Can I get $4.00 in quarters, please? I’ve never been a big fan of Hooters. I’m talking about the restaurant here. You know I’m a boob man. As sports bars go, they’re over-rated, over-priced, and apparently over-sensitive these days. Case in point – me and a couple of buddies went there on Sunday to watch […]