Mad Dog

My apologies to anyone that has sent me an email, text or called since early last week. The touch-screen on my stupid smartphone quit working.

I finally found the time to get to a Sprint store yesterday.

“What’s going on?” I was asked as I approached the check-in stand.

“The touch-screen on my phone doesn’t work,” I replied.

He looked up my account and said, “We no longer honor manufacturer warranties. If you want us to fix this, it will cost $35.”

“That seems a little excessive, but whatever,” I reluctantly agreed.

…30 minutes later

“Um sir, we don’t have a replacement screen for that model, so we’re going to give you a new phone.”

And by new, he meant refurbished.

“That’s fine,” I said.

…30 minutes later

They finally managed to transfer my contacts, and I left with the ‘new’ phone. I made a call once I got to the car, and discovered the earpiece didn’t work.

Back into the store I went.

“Is there a problem?” the same guy asked me.

“Just a small one – I can’t hear the person on the other end of the call.”

He double-checked it to make sure I wasn’t a dumb ass. Then he turned around to talk with the tech guys.

He came back and said, “We have the part for that. They’re fixing it now.”


…1 hour later

“Okay sir, we have your phone ready,” I was told by a new guy, as he handed me the phone.

It should be noted that the previous guy had gone to lunch and was now in the back somewhere enjoying a Subway sandwich.

I was hungry, too.

I took the phone and noticed the navigation buttons at the bottom weren’t working. When I brought this to the new guy’s attention, he took the phone back to the tech guys again.

He returned a few minutes later and said, “We have the part for this. They can open it back up, or we can order you another phone.”

“Do you smoke crack?” I asked.


“I’ve been here for two hours. I’m just assuming you have a drug habit since you’re unable to comprehend time or reality.”

“So you want us to order another one?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“It’ll be here in two days.”



They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose