It is impossible to lose weight during the holidays. Well, not impossible, but it’s pretty difficult when you lack willpower and self discipline.
My Christmas List is short this year. I mean, what do you get the man who has nothing?
Dear Santa,
I would like to see a new reality show called ‘Bartman and Brotzman’.
It would star Steve Bartman, the guy who cost the Cubs a shot at the World Series in 2003 – and Kyle Brotzman, the Boise State player who missed two kicks this year against Nevada.
I don’t mean any disrespect to either man. I just think it would be cool if they hung out together, you know, with a camera crew in tow.
I would also like to be on Celebrity Rehab. I’m not a celebrity, and I don’t need rehab. Wink. But it seems like a good place to meet slutty women.
Finally, I would like to ask for world peace. The only catch is you might have to take out millions of potential terrorists. Your call.
I hope you enjoy the egg sandwich. I ate all of the cookies.
Your friend,
Benny
Or Daddy looked a lot like him