All Star
Pictured today is the nephew of cast member Chuck H. He plays high school hockey in Wheeling, West Virginia. Isn’t there a dog track in Wheeling, West Virginia? Anyway, I’m just happy to be doing my part to educate the next generation. I have a lot of stories from high school. But since I don’t […]
Mrs. Robinson
 One semester in college I decided to leave school in pursue of the big bucks – selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door in Champaign, Illinois. I didn’t get rich, but a lot of stories were generated over those three months. This is one of those stories. My boss called me into his office one day with […]
Riders On The Storm
P-Mobile I came home Friday and found a FedEx package had been left on my patio. It was from the HR Department of a local corporation. I opened the package to find a job offer – an offer that greatly exceeded my current salary, and included a $5k signing bonus. There was just one problem […]
Fugue for Tinhorns
When I first discovered internet gambling, I got the same feeling Crowe Dog did after hearing Lance Bass was gay – “So you’re telling me there’s a chance.” I would rush home from work, make myself a White Russian (I had just watched The Big Lebowski), print out the Daily Racing Form, and click the […]
The Candy Man
30-pack abs I can sometimes be a bit immature. Shocker. Late one night, I took a few complimentary candy bars from the gift shop at a local hotel. And by one night, I mean the statute of limitations has expired. I had a long walk home – I was hungry – and there wasn’t an […]
Sick Of Myself
 Several years ago I had a landline telephone number that was nearly identical to that of the Dodge dealership across the street. I think they were the same except for the last number. By the way kids, people used to have telephones that were connected to a jack in the wall. You can Google it […]
Black Gold
 Happy Birthday, Tom. I received a call around 10:30 on the night of December 18, 2004. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t answered it because drunk Tom was on the other end. “Benny Boy, meet me at my place in five minutes,” he said. “What’s going on?” I asked. “We’re going to the Bottleneck […]