Riders On The Storm
P-Mobile I came home Friday and found a FedEx package had been left on my patio. It was from the HR Department of a local corporation. I opened the package to find a job offer – an offer that greatly exceeded my current salary, and included a $5k signing bonus. There was just one problem […]
Fugue for Tinhorns
When I first discovered internet gambling, I got the same feeling Crowe Dog did after hearing Lance Bass was gay – “So you’re telling me there’s a chance.” I would rush home from work, make myself a White Russian (I had just watched The Big Lebowski), print out the Daily Racing Form, and click the […]
The Candy Man
30-pack abs I can sometimes be a bit immature. Shocker. Late one night, I took a few complimentary candy bars from the gift shop at a local hotel. And by one night, I mean the statute of limitations has expired. I had a long walk home – I was hungry – and there wasn’t an […]
Sick Of Myself
 Several years ago I had a landline telephone number that was nearly identical to that of the Dodge dealership across the street. I think they were the same except for the last number. By the way kids, people used to have telephones that were connected to a jack in the wall. You can Google it […]
Black Gold
 Happy Birthday, Tom. I received a call around 10:30 on the night of December 18, 2004. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t answered it because drunk Tom was on the other end. “Benny Boy, meet me at my place in five minutes,” he said. “What’s going on?” I asked. “We’re going to the Bottleneck […]
Wango Tango
 Google is no longer providing advertisements to the SOB website. Their decision is explained below: As stated in our program policies, AdSense publishers are not permitted to place Google ads on pages with adult or mature content. As a result, we have disabled ad serving to the site. WTF? SOBs don’t click on their links […]
Breakfast In America
My coffee cartel was exposed this morning. You see, I’ve been using the hotel down the street as my own personal Starbucks for years. A few times a week I would enter the property through a guest entrance, take the elevator to the lobby, and grab a complimentary cup of coffee and a USA Today. […]