Good Lovin’ Gone Bad
SOB Translation of the Day Quote: “Please help kids go to camp by purchasing a candy bar on the honor system.” Translation: “Please help yourself to some complimentary candy bars, like you did with Benny’s two 6-inch Subways.” I found a great way to get through the day. There’s a cute girl that walks into […]
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
Getting baseball scores is so easy today [audio:1800555TELL.mp3] Someone ate the rest of my sandwich I put in the refrigerator today. Unbelievable. That’s fine. I’m more than happy to play their game. I’m going to Subway again tomorrow, and ordering a footlong Cold Cut Combo. I’ll eat half of it at my desk. Then I’ll […]
I’m Gonna Miss Her
This was my lunch today. I swear the broccoli contained E. coli, or something – because I spent the afternoon in the bathroom shittin’ like a hack horse. I called Issac to meet for lunch but he had already eaten. Here’s our conversation over the Instant Messenger this afternoon. Keep in mind that Issac recently […]
Move It On Over
My smart phone is stupid. I tried using the voice recognition feature while driving to work this morning. “Call Red,” I said. “Lemonheads,” replied the female voice. WTF? I had to listen to It’s a Shame About Ray four times before I made it to QuikTrip. I went to lunch with Issac today. Here’s our […]
Wrapped
I got this sweet sun reflector at the eye doctor this morning. My eyes are dilated, and I’m heading to the strip club later. Check out the note that someone left above the mailboxes at Melrose Place. I didn’t take this fucker’s DVD, but I bet it was the old Korean neighbor. I mean, the […]
Everybody Wants To Rule The World
The Clinton Culinary Combo Kitchen Tool Set I hate having to remember so many passwords. I have seven just at work. They are all different, and they all have different requirements. 6-14 characters, upper/lower case, special characters like “!,@,#,$<%,^,&,*”… Not to mention they have to be changed every “X” number of days. But I came […]
Pop Song 89
Tim Johnson strikes again. Happy Facebook Friday [audio:weeks_over.mp3] I want to give a shout out to the driver of the hotel airport shuttle that drove my drunk ass home last night. I was in no shape to walk after Parties in the Plaza – especially when I was carrying an extra-large pepperoni pie. Best thing I ever […]