Nightswimming

My refrigerator…Yeah, I’m a grown up

Some things on Facebook make me laugh – people that say how happy they are the weekend is finally here – tagging someone in a  photo – and I found a new one – Relationship Status.

Below are the current choices for your Relationship Status on Facebook:

– Single
– In a Relationship
– Engaged
– Married
– It’s Complicated
– In an Open Relationship
– Widowed

I guess my status should have been In an Open Relationship. I was just the last one to know it.

But another choice caught my attention – It’s Complicated. No shit? Relationships are always complicated.

If this is your status, maybe you should buy your significant other a Mizpah necklace. That way, you can wear half, and they can wear the other half. And when you’re away from each other, your little pooh bear will always be close to your heart.

I got one of these for a girlfriend in junior high, and she loved it. Two weeks later -  BAM! – she was wearing my ID bracelet.

Yeah, that girl was mine. And everybody knew it.

Here are some more choices they should add:

– In a Relationship, but Only When I’m Sober
– Looking for someone to go in halfsies on a bastard
– Engaged, but Not Ready to Settle Down
– It’s Complicated Because I Don’t Trust the Bitch
– It’s Complicated Because I Don’t Trust the Dick Head
– Meet Me in the Bathroom

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night. I’m not sure all these people understand.