Light My Fire

My heat’s back on, and I’m sweating like the tooth fairy in West Virginia. 

We’ve all been there…a long flight and you have gas.  What do you do?  This lady let ’em rip, and tried to cover up the smell.  Unfortunately, passengers reported smelling the matches she struck, and the plane had to make an emergency landing.  Marty Farty had a party…

The holiday season is my favorite time to go to the mall, pass gas, and wait for the reactions. 

The amazing power of makeup.

The differences between Republicans and Democrats during the Holidays.

Tory K. emailed these holiday greetings:

For My Democratic Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to observe religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures.

For My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  May God bless you and yours in 2007.

Leo K. sent this video of the hottest ass on the net.  I found myself mesmerized, and dig the stockings.  (Warning: Contains nudity).

A parody of a popular song by The Fray.

Pimp My Ride for the homeless.  (Warning: Contains profanity).

Big Mac Rap.

Once upon a time, I was dating a girl, and couldn’t undo her bra.  I wasn’t embarrassed by not being able to unhook the stupid thing.  The embarrassing part happened when she had enough time to pick the bathroom lock, and caught me wearing it.

And our love become a funeral pyre.

Benny