Thanks, Michael and Christy O. for my Christmas gift – a KC Chiefs key holder and bottle opener. Daddy will use it every day.
Yes, it’s a Christmas gift. As a matter of fact, I’m saying, “Merry Christmas” this year; not “Happy Holidays.”  I’m sending “Christmas Cards” to friends and clients. I’m sick and tired of having to tiptoe around my religious beliefs so not to offend anyone.Â
The ACLU will sue a city to remove a Christmas tree, and be the first in line to defend a guy who sticks his dick in one of the pine cones. Why? Because every man has the right to f**k a pine cone; as long as they don’t put up a Christmas tree.
Troy T. from Des Moines sent this Special Message from Santa Claus. I hope this isn’t true or I’m getting nothing this year.
Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI early Monday morning. The police report lists her as 5’1″ and 85 lbs. I’m all for petite chicks, but damn; 85 lbs?  That girl could hang glide on a Dorito.
Over $1M worth of cocaine washed up on two Florida beaches today. Do I really have to write the White Christmas joke? It’s snowing in Florida? C’mon, these are too easy.Â
What isn’t easy is trying to understand why some stupid gash called the Po Po. I would have grabbed one of those bricks, ran home, and hunkered down ’til the New Year.
Another Festivus miracle.
Benny
Since when have you been afraid to offend anyone?
Merry Christmas assinine.
I am about to offend you by divulging your real name and email address.
I still can’t stand to see or hear the name “Lin Elliott.” It looks like the Chiefs are going down the same path this year.
Oh well, things could be worse; I could be a Rams fan. They’ve lost 7 of their last 8 games. Ouch.
Check out this story:
http://deadspin.com/sports/nfl/a-night-for-loud-bears-fans-and-silent-rams-ones-221144.php
If you talk to Sloan, tell her I said, “What up?”