Passenger Side

 

I recently found a picture of Becky, the girl I lost my virginity to in high school. I’m not sure if it was her senior picture or what, but it sure brought back memories. Like the time I tried to talk her into a blow j*b the same day she had her wisdom teeth pulled. Good times.

It looks like this may be the last week of new television episodes for a while. As long as the writers are on strike, the networks will be feeding us a helping heap of reruns and reality shows.

I hate reality television. The only one I currently watch is The Biggest Loser. I don’t watch it religiously, but it’s the only one I can relate to. I feel compassion for people who want to lose weight, but I can’t comprehend dumping a bunch of knuckleheads on a deserted island and watching them eat insects.

Why don’t the networks air lineups from years past? CBS Saturday nights in the 1970s: Bob Newhart, All in the Family, Mary Tyler Moore, and The Carol Burnett Show. Or NBC can hit us with their lineup from the 90s: Friends, Single Guy, Seinfeld, Caroline in the City, and ER.

Anything would be better than watching a couple of gay guys race a tandem bike race across Ireland. Seriously, it’s not that amazing.

Alright, I’m done…

Crowe Dog is at home recovering from the reconstructive knee surgery he had on Monday. Get well soon. I hope he doesn’t take this the wrong way, but I thought only athletes had that procedure.

Happy Birthday, Niro.

SOB Late-Night Joke of the Day

Lindsay Lohan’s wrecked Mercedes Benz is being auctioned on eBay. This is the same convertible she crashed into a tree last May. The car comes with leather seats, power windows, and an ounce of blow.

– The founder of The Weather channel calls Global warming ‘Greatest Scam in History.’

– This guy isn’t exactly Lance Armstrong.

– Frank TV on TBS shows what a Seinfeld episode might look like in 2027.

I’ve got a court date coming this June. I’ll be driving soon.

Benny