The new law banning saggy pants got me thinking. Why do we need a law telling young men that it’s not appropriate to wear their jeans halfway down their asses? I didn’t need a law when I was growing up. I had my dad. If he would have seen me showing my boxers to the world, he would have told me one time to pull my pants up. And I guarantee you that I would have pulled them up.
During my freshman year in college, I thought it would be cool to get an earring. I told my dad about it the day before I came home for Thanksgiving. He told me that it better be gone when I got to the house. I initially balked at his threat, but stopped short of the front door, and took it out. Better safe than sorry.
I put it back in on the drive back to school though. That piece of jewelry got me a lot of tail back in the day.
I saw a lot of saggy pants on the Soul Train this summer. On probably a half dozen occasions, one of these idiots started rapping out loud once they got onboard. Some wore headphones, while others chose an a cappella approach to their hip-hop rhymes. It was like some kind of mating call. And believe me; the beotches were getting hot in therre.
The next time I ride the train, I’m going to stand in front of everyone, and belt out a country tune. “Blame it all on my roots. I showed up in boots. And ruined your black tie affair.”
Black Tie Affair - He was one hell of a racehorse.
Have you ever challenged Gina Party to an arm wrestling match and lost?Â
Me neither.Â
SOB Late-Night Joke of the Day
Today in San Francisco, a federal grand jury indicted Barry Bonds on perjury and obstruction of justice. The indictment stems from his 2003 testimony where he said that he never knowingly took steroids. A spokesperson for Bonds said that he was so upset after hearing the news, he felt like his head was going to explode.
– Chinese honeymoon joke. – Thanks, Dani-girl.
– This kid does a great impersonation of George Bush discussing global warming. Thanks, Tom K.
I’m not big on social graces. Think I’ll slip on down to the oasis.
Benny
Dear Benny,
I have a suggestion for your SOB blog. I’m sure there are numerous married guys out there that need advice to buy that special gift or that special thing on their anniversary. Is there anyway you could start a Dear Dani or Dear Abby column so we can seek advice?
For example: What is the hot cologne for 2008? If your wife asks you if this dress makes her look big, what is the true and honest answer that we should tell her? Do girls really like the “shocker”or is that moaning just for show?
I personally haven’t experienced these type questions but I’m sure your readers have and it would be a better world if we could seek advice from the younger generation. I plan on going Christmas (not Holiday) shopping in a few weeks and she needs more perfume. What’s the hot brand now days? See Benny, it’s simple questions like these that would help us 30 something(that’s me) and the 40 something (that’s Benny) out for years to come.
I love my wife but I just need a forum to help with the gift buying that could get me some action or stick me in the doghouse. I don’t want advice from you faking like you’re Danni or Abby either. I want true & honest answers to some serious social questions.
Lil’ Bro
I’m w/Lil Bro-time to expand and use these ladies knowledge to thier full advantage (if they are willing of course). Let it breathe baby. Happy thanksgiving!
Later,
Braz
Benny-
we would like to help your poor brother out…please post our comments 🙂
Dear Mr. Good-scents-
We are here to help…you certainly have some good “scents†to ask the experts. You are in luck that we happen to have expertise on the perfume industry. A newer scent, Juicy Couture (no, Benny, you cannot shorten this as JC) is a great subtle one (which can be bought at any Marcy’s department store at the Liz Claiborne counter). It comes in a “sorbet†which is creme perfume as well as the traditional style bottled perfume. We both have personally tried and wear this scent, and have a friend who swears by it. If that special someone has a dog…Juicy also makes “pawfume” (for dogs) too, this will be sure to get you out of that “doghouse.” We feel this scent is more of an everyday sweet aroma than a night time one.
For night time affairs (gentlement this is when you take your lady to a nice restaurant, show, or outing- i know its a new concept, but you should try it!) we can give you some advice on our pheromones….Abby wears Armani- Code. This scent is extremely sensual smelling and can be recognized from a mile away. Those who wear it constantly get complimented and asked what they are wearing and where they got it. This can also be bought at Macy’s and can also be bought at Sephora (a makeup/perfume store). Armani- Code makes a male cologne to compliment the female scent (girls will think it is “cute” to have matching scents).
Dani girl’s signature scent is called Christian Dior- Addict. Like the name, people instantly become, well, addicted to her, and they cant figure out why…it is guaranteed to have people sniffing around and striking up conversation just to come close to the lovely smell. This perfume can also be bought at Sephora (a girls favorite store btw)
…..some other scents that we girls have come to like include the ever popual classic chic scent of Issey Miyake (sounds Japanese but used to score Americans- Hi-yahh, sold at Sephora, also one of Dani-girls personal favorites) which has a male version. Calvin Klien- Euphoria is another fresh scent that gets lots of compliments (sold at Sephora), Gucci- Envy Me is another one (which Abby also tends to wear, a girlish flowery type scent) also sold at Marcy’s and sephora.
The “40 something†himself recently tried Usher and loves it (although he still swears by Aqua Di Gio, also one mf dani-girls personal favorites which Tom wears too!) Abby and I have the Usher for men cologne laying around the apartment for a lucky man to stumble upon- we love it and often spray it just to smell the fresh scent!! Usher also makes a women scent, although not as potent as the man’s, still great! (this can be also be bought at Macy’s at the Liz Claiborne counter).
A perfect accessory with the perfume is the lotion and/or body wash with the same scent (and fellows, get the biggest bottle size offered, we werent born yesterday and we know the price difference, dont dissapoint us)!! Often times these perfumes also come with a “free gift†too such as a carrying case or tote bag, which is an added bonus…but fyi dont think this counts as a separate gift, girls KNOW this comes free with your purchase…
Happy shopping for the HOLIDAYS (not everyone celebrates x-mas!!)…and don’t forget the CARD….that is the true “thoughtful part of the gift.â€
Stay tuned for how to be honest with a compliment to a woman without crossing over that “too honest†line and putting yourself on the couch for the night instead of “on your lady”… and don’t miss shocking secrets about the “shocker” finally revealed….After the Break….[as Howie Mandel would say on deal or no deal]
Yours Truely-
Dani-Girl and Abby