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I almost went through an entire bottle of Lubriderm last night watching The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I should have gone to Tom’s to watch it on HD, but enjoyed the privacy.
We watched the Mizzou/OU debacle last Saturday at Tom’s house. Dan-girl, God love her, showed up during the third quarter, and started talking about purses. Purses! Things went from bad to worse when more pretty young girls showed up.
Hear me out…Â
The sound on the television was muted, and replaced with Top 40 music. Actually, I’m not sure if it was Top 40 music. I just know I hadn’t heard any of the songs before, and couldn’t hear the game.
Oh well, when your team is losing by three touchdowns, it’s nice to have an assortment of jugs to look at. That’s why I recommend watching a big game at either Hooters or your local strip club. Just avoid wearing light-colored Khakis.
I’d like to give a shout-out to my primary care physician for refilling my Xanax prescription. Happy Holidays.
SOB Late-Night Joke of the Day
The Bra turns 100 this year. In a related story, Bill Clinton has been missing for three days trying to find the party.
– I’m not making fun of this guy, but he’s going to need more than Clearasil to fix this problem.
- Celebrate the holidays with your very own Festivus Pole. I find tinsel distracting.Â
– I’ve got a bad case of diarrhea. Japanese people crack me up.
– Barf bags don’t work in zero gravity.
– Watch this guy try to film his dating ad.
– Hillary farts during debate.
Well, the other night I got invited to a party, but I stayed home instead. Just me and my pal Johnny Walker. And his brothers Blackie and Red.
Benny
Gina Party is probably happy your PCP refilled your Xanax prescription as well!
let me just correct something here…i was not talking about Purses….i was talking about the heel of my shoe and how cool it was that my new shoes came with an extra one incase my heel broke and then i was talking about fake eyelashes and how mine were REAL…and you failed to mention what was “muted” on the TV while the “top 40” music was playing…..hmmm, memory loss from old age or alcohol…. 🙂
Hey Benny,
How come every global warming nutjob that keeps telling me to go green puts off more carbon emissions in a single day than I do all year? Al Gore’s full of shit man.