Jesus He Knows Me

 

During a meeting today, I discovered that a customer was good friends with a former high school buddy of mine. Actually, we started hanging out in the 7th grade, but our friendship soured when he became a Born Again Christian shortly after college.

I didn’t have a problem with him being born again. He seemed happy, and I supported his decision. But what I couldn’t understand was how my drinking buddy turned into Billy Graham overnight.

He broke the news to me during a telephone conversation on New Year’s Eve.

“What are we doing tonight?” I asked.

“Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?” he replied.

“Yes.”

“I mean really accepted him into your heart?”

“Dude, you know I’m a Christian. But what does that have to do with where we’re partying tonight?”

“I’m going to stay home and read the Gospels. I’ll say a prayer for you.”

“Whatever. I have more phone calls to make.”

Days later he would explain his decision. “I’ve had a lot of close calls in my life, and most of them were with you.”

Fair enough. We did have some close calls. Like the time I drove three hours to the dog track after tossing down a few too many cold ones. I fell asleep at the wheel, and woke up to find my car plowing through a corn field.

His face was as white as a ghost. But hey, we survived. And if I remember correctly, the two of us split a pretty nice trifecta that night.

But there were good times, too. Ones that didn’t involve near death experiences.

I think of the time in 8th grade when we devised a plan to disrupt a junior high basketball game after learning it was National Raisin Day. We pulled panty hose over our heads, ensconced our bodies in large trash bags, and stormed the court tossing miniature boxes of raisins into the crowd. The place went wild. Their response was certainly worth the few hours of detention we received.

And he knows I’m right.