Gina Potty

Gina Potty 

Melrose Place is losing a couple of cast members.

My neighbor, Tory K., moved out last weekend and became a first-time home owner. I’m okay with his departure because we’ll see each other during football season, and he’s a stupid Broncos fan. I certainly won’t miss the disturbing sounds of porn from above.

But I’m concerned about his replacement being an Indian (Customer Support, not Casino.) If that happens, I’m going to fire up the ol’ smoker and the stench of curry will quickly be replaced with the savory scent of baby back ribs.

The shocking news came on Tuesday when Gina Party told me that she was moving. This was like a kick in the nuts because GP is one of my favorite people on the planet. While I’m happy for her being a new home owner, I’m concerned about the distance between us. Sure it’s only 10 miles or so, but that’s a $20 cab ride ($25 if you tip my new neighbor.)

But I promise you this – Gina Party will always be a part of the SOB. Negotiations are already underway for a webcam because there is no way I’m going months without seeing her boobies. Hell, as long as the thing isn’t dusty, she probably won’t even notice it’s there.

Get ready for Titty Tuesdays.

This Day in Benny History

1983: Heard infamous ‘Pine Tar’ call on radio

1995: 3 mile walk

1997: Flew to Las Vegas with Lisa Doggie Style

1998: Party at the Park (Fairmount Park)

2002: Drove Red to Pierre Marquette in AM

2003: 3 mile run

2004: Melrose Place Pool Party with Janers, G-Man and Mrs. O

– The butt sniffing dog.

– Referee shows up drunk for a soccer match.

I can’t sleep at night. I keep on dreaming you’re gone.