Kahuku, HI, February 1, 1996:…On this day in history, I was staying at the Turtle Bay Resort on the North Shore of Oahu with a girlfriend I affectionately called ‘Doggie Style.’ And by affectionately, I mean she had no idea that is what I called her to my friends. The hotel was sweet. It’s the […]

The Movie

Why is America so fat? I used my cell phone to record and upload my first video on YouTube. I call it The Summer of Benny – Cribs. It’s my birthday, so I’m getting drunk tonight. Here’s how I spent some previous ones. This Day in Benny History 1996: Flew to Honolulu with “Doggie-Style” 1997: […]

It’s My Life

WTF? Seriously. I swear I keep running into a girl that was a booty call of mine back in the 90’s. She gave me a look today like she knew me. If that’s her, at least her face cleared up. But I’m hoping it isn’t, because I sure didn’t treat her very well back then. […]

Everybody Wants To Rule The World

The Clinton Culinary Combo Kitchen Tool Set I hate having to remember so many passwords. I have seven just at work. They are all different, and they all have different requirements. 6-14 characters, upper/lower case, special characters like “!,@,#,$<%,^,&,*”… Not to mention they have to be changed every “X” number of days. But I came […]

Saved By Zero

I think we found ground zero for the swine flu I watched Obama’s news conference tonight. I can’t understand how he spends ten minutes telling the world the US is no longer using enhanced interrogation techniques – but never mentions the war on terror.  That’s what gets me about liberals. They’re perfectly fine with partial birth abortions. But God […]

Let It Go

  There isn’t much time to write this morning because (a) I have to get ready for work and (b) I’m making a wish list for a sex toy party this weekend. Anyone know if they make a Jessica Alba blow-up doll? That reminds me of a quick story. Tom and Crowe Dog stopped by my place […]

Say It Isn’t So

Gina Potty  Melrose Place is losing a couple of cast members. My neighbor, Tory K., moved out last weekend and became a first-time home owner. I’m okay with his departure because we’ll see each other during football season, and he’s a stupid Broncos fan. I certainly won’t miss the disturbing sounds of porn from above. But I’m concerned about his […]