Operator

 

Last night my DSL went down, so I was forced to call AT&T tech support. Their interactive voice response system was my first nemesis. After speaking my telephone number and problem (no internet connection), and answering a dozen more unrelated questions, a recording told me that I could access their website for a possible resolution. WTF? I couldn’t get on the internet, so how was that going to help me?

I finally reached a woman in India who asked me to jump through the usual hoops – reboot the modem – reboot my computer – make sure all the cables are connected – blah, blah, blah.

“Don’t you think I already tried that?” I asked her.

“Sir, I am trying to help resolve the issue,” she read from her script.

I played along, came back to the phone in a few minutes and said, “None of those things fixed the problem.”

“Sir, I have to assign your case to another department. Do you have a pen to write down the ticket number?”

“Go ahead.”

“B as in Balloon – 95 – E as in Echo – 3 – Q as in Qubic – 89.”

“Did you say Q as in Cubic? That’s spelled with a C.”

“Sir, I said Q as in Qubrick,” she replied in a raised voice.

“Kubrick is spelled with a K.”

“Okay. Q as in Queen!” she shouted. And then she hung up on me.

Oh you’ve been so much more than kind. And you can keep the dime.