All I Want For Christmas Is A Real Good Tan

 

Another day, another lesson… Never come into town, drop off a bunch of Christmas presents, and ask me to deliver them to your neighbor’s family that happen to live in St. Louis – Because I’m not frickin’ UPS. 

Now I find myself in quite the dilemma. On one hand, a buddy has entrusted me with an important task. On the other, I probably won’t get many gifts myself, so I’m kind of excited to see what’s inside the boxes.

What should I do with the presents?

(a) Celebrate the season and deliver them wearing a Santa hat

(b) Have someone film me opening them, and post a video link on the SOB

(c) Kick it up a notch and open them on Christmas morning via a live webcam

(d) Hold them for ransom like a Somali pirate

Since there are kids involved, I’ll probably go with the Santa hat thing. But then again, I’m sober right now.

And don’t worry baby, we’ll celebrate plenty. I’ll buy you some shades a brand new bikini.