Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
The 135th Kentucky Oaks will be run on Friday. The Grade 1 race is the ‘Kentucky Derby’ for the ladies. And by ladies, I mean fillies. It’s held annually the day before the Derby. But you already knew that. This year’s race will be televised on Bravo with coverage beginning at 5:00 PM ET. Shouldn’t it be […]
Saved By Zero
I think we found ground zero for the swine flu I watched Obama’s news conference tonight. I can’t understand how he spends ten minutes telling the world the US is no longer using enhanced interrogation techniques – but never mentions the war on terror. That’s what gets me about liberals. They’re perfectly fine with partial birth abortions. But God […]
Major Tom
 My new Palm Pilot Mr. O and I collaborated on my debut Country and Western album over the weekend. Here are the titles we’ve come up with so far: I Got a DUI on the Way to Get My IUD Hungover (and Horny) Get in the Truck, Bitch My Smart Phone is Stupid This Light Beer […]
Online
What a Medium looks like on an XL Sometimes when Chico is out of town, I put on his clothes and have pictures taken. Lil’ Chico Shirt [audio:lil_chico_shirt-001.mp3] I woke up this morning thinking I either have the swine flue, or just drank too much when Mr. O was in town. The smart money’s on the […]
Ramblin’ Man
Hey baby, want to taste my Johnsonville? It might be time for me to grow up. Last night, someone close to me said that I refuse to accept responsibility. “That’s not true,” I explained. “I just don’t like being obligated to do something.” “That’s the definition of responsibility.” “Oh.” Then I made another drink and turned on SportsCenter. And […]
Suddenly Last Summer
The cover came off the Melrose Place pool today. Check out the long hose. Drink – I said hose. Mr. O is coming into town tomorrow. I called him tonight with what I thought was a bit of good news. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â BENNY Hey, Chico’s out of town this weekend, so you can sleep in his […]
In The Mood
 Keeneland’s first race goes off in 5 minutes. WTF? The Man didn’t take long cashing the check I sent to pay my taxes. I mailed it on April 15th, and it cleared my bank last night. That reminds me, I would like to take this opportunity to thank whoever came up with the idea of overdraft protection. I’m still playing […]