Purple Rain

 
Why raincoats are yellow

Okay, so I might have done something to Chico’s sofa last night. Actually, I think it’s my sofa, now.

I’m not making light of the situation, but he was well aware of my ‘problem’ long before we moved in together. So this can’t come as a huge surprise.

That’s like leaving your sack of weed with a pothead. And then coming home and saying, “Dude, what happened to my weed?”

I’m happy to report that the covers are off the sofa cushions and in the wash. They’ll be as good as new tomorrow. They always are.

My girlfriend made a suggestion – whenever I drink too much, I have to sleep in the bathtub.

That seems a little excessive.

- Headline that got my attention.

I never meant to cause you any sorrow. I never meant to cause you any pain.