The Real Slim Shady
So I’m sitting in the locker room today at the gym. I had just gotten there and wanted to send a quick text message. There was an older, fatter man sitting in the same section – naked. “Put away that cell phone,” he said. “What?” I asked. “Cell phones aren’t allowed in the locker room. […]
She Sells Sanctuary
I noticed this mattress sitting on my neighbor’s patio the other night. I knew the girl that used to live there had moved out, so I was a little concerned about the new neighbors. “Maybe they’re moving things around inside and needed the space,” someone said. “Maybe,” I replied. The following morning I ran into […]
True
Kahuku, HI, February 1, 1996:…On this day in history, I was staying at the Turtle Bay Resort on the North Shore of Oahu with a girlfriend I affectionately called ‘Doggie Style.’ And by affectionately, I mean she had no idea that is what I called her to my friends. The hotel was sweet. It’s the […]
Cars
The Bob and Tom Show has been asking listeners to submit stories about their first car. Here’s mine. My first car was a 1979 Chevrolet Monza. One cold day I discovered I was unable to move the lever to the defrost setting. I told my dad who was a car expert, who looked under the […]
Whole Lotta Love
I don’t have a lot of romantic Valentine’s Day stories. That’s because I usually try to break-up with girlfriends around birthdays and holidays. Hey, don’t laugh. I’ve managed to save a ton of money over the years using this method. And by save, I mean blew at the track. But one year in college I […]
Amazing
Shop at Sam’s Club much? I want to thank Tom d G for hosting the Super Bowl Party this year – and for supplying the endless amount of vodka and Jaeger shots. Needless to say, I didn’t pay close attention to the game. Shit, I had to get on the internet the next day to […]
She’s Not There
This looks like a pretty good ice breaker. A couple of things tonight…first I want to go over the relationship advice I received from Issac. I don’t want to go into a lot of detail, but last weekend I puked on a woman’s area rug. Now, I’ve dated some women for years, some for months, […]