Today, I saw a group of black men at a bus stop, dressed like they were about to start the Iditarod.  I admit, the temperature was a brisk 50 degrees, but one guy was wearing a big winter parka, with the hood up.

I explained this to my friend Issac, who is a sexually active, disease free, African-American male.  I like to run things by him to see if I’m being racist.  He usually says that I am, and I continue. 

Anyway, he started laughing after I told him the story.  When I asked what was so funny, he said, “I wore my winter coat today.”

White men can’t jump.

Kühlwasser Auffüllen: 
These words have been displayed on my dashboard since I bought my used Saab.  I thought it meant the windshield wiper fluid was empty.  Turns out that I needed to add cold water to the radiator; go figure. 

My car was made in Sweden, talks to me in German, and I have no user’s manual. 

Born from jets, my ass.

Benny

As if things weren’t looking bad enough for Republicans in November, former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson is campaigning for the GOP Senate candidate in Maryland.  That should help. 

What did Mike Tyson say when they put him into solitary confinement?
“Hey, where did everybody go?”  (The punch line is funnier if you say it in a Mike Tyson voice).

Major League Baseball struck a marketing deal that will allow certain team logos to appear on coffins and urns.  Now, Cub fans can keep their World Series drought intact; even in the afterlife.

Sports Illustrated has compiled a list of the best sports meltdowns of all-time. - Thanks, Dave B.

Happy 80th Birthday, Chuck Berry.  

Crown Valley Winery just released a new line of Chuck Berry Wines.  Nothing says “Class” more than sipping on a glass of Chuck BERRY BlackBERRY.

I’ve had the same wallet for more than 8 years.

New Stupidity Tax Offense:  “Is that decaffeinated coffee or high octane?” - Cha Ching - $10.

It’s colder than it looks outside.

Benny

You might want the headphones today.  Warning - The links to other pages may contain material that some may find offensive.

I don’t know whether these guys are teenage homos or just funny. 

Chris Rock - How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked - Thanks, Mike K.

Funny logos, signs, etc… - Thanks, Michael O.

Chappelle Show - Clayton Bigsby The Black White Supremacist

Jim Carrey - Fire Marshall Bill

The Big Lebowski - The Dude hates The Eagles, man.

I posted this a few months ago, but its replay worthy - Scotty Doesn’t Know.

I always feel like somebody’s watching me.

Benny

The results are in from the radio station and we were unable to gather enough votes in four days to place in the Top 3.  Thanks to everyone who voted for me.  It looks like we’ll take a different route to Entourage. 

I thought most people would slow down their partying once the summer ended.  If this weekend was any indication, they haven’t.

Abby got kicked out of Voodoo for the 2nd time this year.  She and Dani-girl left me a voice mail at 1:45 AM on Saturday to recap the night’s events but were barely coherent.

Sheila L.’s going away party was on Saturday and lasted from 3:00 PM to Midnight.

Have you ever taken a Levitra with no guarantee you had a girl to assist with the situation?

Me neither.

With Halloween around the corner, I’ve decided to go as this. 

I found a toilet costume for kids.  Who dresses up their kid as a toilet?  I guess it could be considered an early lesson in life.  The lesson being that your parents are morons. 

A man in Georgia has been ordered to make up for the Christmas he ruined last year by taking his family to one of Atlanta’s most expensive restaurants.  I wonder what the conversation will be like.  “How do you feel now, you Son of a Bitch?  Pass the salt.”

I’m looking for answers from…

Benny

I always seem to get gout this time of the year.  For those of you who don’t know what gout is, it’s God’s way of telling you that you are not eating and drinking properly. 

I know a guy behind the guy, who manages a cineplex in Chicago.  The other night, he gets paged to the lobby which usually means he is about to be confronted by an angry patron. 

Instead, he is met by a woman who introduces herself as “Steven Tyler’s Publicist.”  As the conversation commences, Steven Tyler walks through the door, addresses him by name (name tag), and says, “I see the 9:45 showing of ‘The Departed’ is sold out.”

The guy behind the guy responds by telling him they can probably work something out which ends up being a private screening of the movie for Mr. Tyler. 

Afterwards, the lead singer calls the guy behind the guy’s girlfriend and sings to her.  Before he leaves, he hands over his publicist’s cell phone number and tells him to call her if he ever wants tickets and backstage passes to an Aerosmith concert.

I don’t know which is cooler; the guy behind the guy having future access to Aerosmith concerts or Steven Tyler shutting down an entire theatre so he can catch a flick. 

On the subjects of movies, why do porns cost so much at hotels?  C’mon, $14.99?  I’m only going to watch it for 5-minutes; 10-minutes tops.  Can’t they pro-rate it?

More than 50 illegal Mexican immigrants were found living in the same house in San Antonio.  This shouldn’t add to the stereotype.

Disney is outraged after seeing Mickey, Minnie, and other characters simulating an orgy in an Internet video.  I knew Minnie was fu**ing Goofy.

And your chicks for free.

Benny

Having a website and not knowing much about programming has been difficult at times.  On a scale of 1-10, 1 being an infant and 10 being Bill Gates, I am probably a 4.  I have learned one thing - Yahoo! Help is an oxymoron.

I’ve updated the Summer of Benny homepage to include the blog, but it obviously needs work.  Be patient as I’m cutting down on porn surfing to learn HTML, CSS, PHP, and whatever other stupid programs this crap uses. 

New Stupidity Tax Offense - “Looks like we’re playing phone tag.” - Cha Ching - $10.

Tip of the Day:
If a hot girl is coming into town and asks if your place is clean because she may be staying there; just say yes and start cleaning.

So, I’m watching the MLB playoffs, and it occurs to me how this sport sets itself apart from others. 

After an NFL game, coaches and players meet in the middle of the field and congratulate each other on a good game. 

NHL players line-up and shake the hands of their opponent. 

NBA teams huddle and decide where they’re going after the game to meet white women. 

Not baseball; the catcher and pitcher hug, while their teammates gather around them and high-5 each other.  The losing team exits the field and makes their way to the clubhouse with no acknowledgement of the winners.  

I don’t know why I wrote this other than to make the NBA reference.

Well, the clock says it’s time to close now.

Benny 

The voting booths for my group are now open.  You can view my application and listen to the sample audio here.

Note - I am in Group 7, listed as “Benny”.

You can vote for me using the above link or go directly to http://kcradiogod.com/votegroup7.html

Voting ends this Sunday, October 15th at Midnight.  Forwarding this information to your friends and family is greatly appreciated. 

You can only vote once which I find interesting since some of the other groups have been accepting votes since mid-September.  Fascists.

Benny