The Contest
The radio station contest finally put my entry (Group 7) on their website. They wrote that the reason you should vote for me is because me and Howard Stern were separated at birth, “or so Benny thinks.” I’m not sure how they came up with this because I never mention Howard Stern or anything remotely close in my […]
Like A Rolling Stone
I didn’t realize yesterday was Columbus Day. To some, this meant a day off of work. To others, it meant the banks were closed and they had an extra day to cover the checks written at the casino over the weekend. I am getting fed up with the weather people on the news. I don’t care […]
Harvest Moon
Some weekends are better than others. This was one of the better ones. On Saturday, I played in a four-man scramble with three buddies on a beautiful October afternoon. The golf tournament was for a friend of ours who decided to abandon the pursuit of the almighty dollar, and dedicate his life to helping others. He is […]
You Never Even Called Me By My Name
I don’t know what it is about Thursday nights that makes me drink myself into oblivion, but the streak continued last night. I went to the David Allan Coe concert with Tom d G, Crowe Dog, and Mike. If you’ve never heard of David Allan Coe, he’s a redneck who plays a Confederate Flag guitar. […]
Field Trips
This morning, I drove across the state for a sales call. On the way home, I decided to stop at either a strip club or winery.  I had heard good things about the strippers at a particular establishment but quickly made a U-Turn once I got a closer look. There were only two cars in front, and it looked […]
Poor, Poor Pitiful Me
After the sales call and convention today, I went to get my car damage estimated by the Vietnamese chick’s insurance company. For those of you who don’t know, an Asian-American woman backed into my parked car last week; shocker. As luck would have it, the appraiser knew me. We quickly noticed other damage that I had failed […]
Odds
I can’t lift weights without escaping the paparazzi. Let me recap the last few days… Saturday I went to the annual chili cook-off in Westport with Tom d G, Crowe Dog, B-Unit, & Issac. Due to financial restraints, I smuggled beers in my shorts and poured them into a cup while standing inside a Port-A-Potty. Classy? […]