Hot Rod Lincoln
I overheard a woman talking on her cell phone this morning. “My name is not Patrice; it’s Caprice!” she yelled. A few minutes later I saw a woman wearing a name tag that read, “Mercedes.” If I would have run into a “Porsche” today, I could have started my own car lot. Just a reminder […]
Head Over Heels
Who’s ready for a wiener? I like to dispense advise from time to time. For example, don’t use big words if you can’t pronounce a three-letter word like ask. It just makes you look more stupid than you actually are. If that’s even possible. Today, I want to talk about relationships. The most important thing […]
Cruel Summer
If anyone sees Chico, you tell that little Mexican this trash will be waiting for him when he gets home. I’m sick and tired of being taken for granted. I’m going to get drunk and sleep in his bed tonight while he’s out of town. He doesn’t have a mattress pad, so that Sealy Posturepedic […]
Wrapped
I got this sweet sun reflector at the eye doctor this morning. My eyes are dilated, and I’m heading to the strip club later. Check out the note that someone left above the mailboxes at Melrose Place. I didn’t take this fucker’s DVD, but I bet it was the old Korean neighbor. I mean, the […]
You’re My Best Friend
So I was curious why there hasn’t been a thumbnail image available on my Facebook links lately. I mean, sure I switched to Firefox because IE 5 in Windows 2000 is outdated. But I knew there had to be something more. Then it hit me. The “align” attribute of the <div> element was deprecated in […]
Golden Years
Crowe Dog and Tom attempt to swim upstream This 4th of July was one of the coolest on record in St. Louis. And the sun came out for about 15 minutes the entire weekend. Al Gore is full of shit, man. But with King and his buddy Devo in town from Cali, we still made […]
Everybody Wants To Rule The World
The Clinton Culinary Combo Kitchen Tool Set I hate having to remember so many passwords. I have seven just at work. They are all different, and they all have different requirements. 6-14 characters, upper/lower case, special characters like “!,@,#,$<%,^,&,*”… Not to mention they have to be changed every “X” number of days. But I came […]