Kahuku, HI, February 1, 1996:…On this day in history, I was staying at the Turtle Bay Resort on the North Shore of Oahu with a girlfriend I affectionately called ‘Doggie Style.’ And by affectionately, I mean she had no idea that is what I called her to my friends. The hotel was sweet. It’s the […]

One Thing Leads To Another

This was the year I had to renew my driver’s license. The lady at the DMV was surprisingly efficient. DMV LADY Are the 5′ 9″ and 180 pounds still the same? BENNY The 5′ 9″ is. I asked her to change my weight to 215 lbs. That’s a bit high. But I figured that would […]

Love Don’t Live Here

Only Crowe Dog would walk into a room and say, “Guess who just bought a new scarf?” Okay, I’ve had a few glasses (bottles) of wine tonight, but let’s get through this. I get pissed off when people at the gym give me a dirty look when I don’t use the spray bottle and towel […]


Every year between Christmas and New Year’s, normal people pack up their holiday decorations, and put them back into storage. I have a similar tradition, but it follows the last KC Chiefs game of the season. You see, this is the time I pack up my Chiefs collection, and put it away until next season. […]

The Boys Of Fall

Arrowhead Stadium Parking – December 26, 2010 The Kansas City Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game in 17 years, so naturally I’d like to be at the game tomorrow against the Ravens. But I have to be at a customer site on Monday morning. Now I know what you’re thinking – just stay sober and […]

Girls Got Rhythm

Jackpot Today a buddy told me he was upset I hadn’t called him – or at least sent a text message – to see if he was alright after tornadoes blew through his neighborhood last Friday. He said he had received messages from all around the country, but nothing from me. Tip of the Day: […]

Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy

It is impossible to lose weight during the holidays. Well, not impossible, but it’s pretty difficult when you lack willpower and self discipline. My Christmas List is short this year. I mean, what do you get the man who has nothing? Dear Santa, I would like to see a new reality show called ‘Bartman and […]