Boondocks
What’s new? Let’s see… * Gawker sent an email to let me know their website had been hacked – and my username and password are available on the internet. * I discovered that I’ll lose more weight if I drink a protein shake after the gym instead of one from Sonic. * I got a […]
Mother And Child Reunion
I got my new refurbished stupid smartphone today. Thanks, Sprint. Dicks. My mom sent me an email after Thanksgiving asking if I had accidentally taken her remote control home. When I told her I had checked, and didn’t find it, this was her reply: Did you by any chance unroll your sleeping bag? The only […]
Deacon Blues
My apologies to anyone that has sent me an email, text or called since early last week. The touch-screen on my stupid smartphone quit working. I finally found the time to get to a Sprint store yesterday. “What’s going on?” I was asked as I approached the check-in stand. “The touch-screen on my phone doesn’t […]
Sundown
A candy cane shaped piece of pork probably isn’t the best picture to use on the first night of Hanukkah. I’m not trying to be insensitive here. I just don’t have a lot of Jewish friends. But Happy Hanukkah to you both. Actually, one of them is my financial adviser. And we haven’t spoken since […]
Things That Make You Go Hmmm….
Cyber Monday was nothing like I thought it would be. Looks like I’ll have to put the webcam and lotion away for another night. Things that make me say WTF? Black Friday – People go shopping when they know the parking lots and stores are going to be crowded. How everything sounds funnier when you […]
I Thank You
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Here are a few things I’m thankful for: Febreze Caller ID Pot Pies Cheap bourbon – ‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving You didn’t have to squeeze it but you did But you did, but you did And I thank you
Running On Empty
I weighed less than 150 lbs. when I graduated high school. This morning I weighed 210. What year did I graduate high school? Well, that would be 19-none of your business. But I’ll tell you this – I’m getting back into shape. And my exercise of choice is going to be running. I mean, this […]